Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
