maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
