he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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