If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
