i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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