you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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