i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
im on a boat
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