R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
