Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.

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(740): View more from Ohio

My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.

(1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.

(1-313): View more from Michigan

Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.

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(315): View more from New York

She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder

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(540): View more from Virginia

If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!

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