it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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