She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
