We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
