We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
