My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
