Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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