woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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