Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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