Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
