all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
