He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
