We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
