He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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