i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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