Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
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