I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
