I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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