I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
