We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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