What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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