if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
