is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
