Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
