Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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