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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Did he leave or is he still there?

  (334): View more from Alabama

  He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"

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• (805): View more from California

  You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street

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