i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
