My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
