You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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