wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
