So drunk, too bad you don't want this
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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