i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
