I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
