I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
