you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
