forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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