Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
