Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
