Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
