Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You can't special order awesome
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
