she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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