What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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